E. Boyer
With Thanksgiving behind us, it’s time to set our sights on the upcoming winter festivities. The post Thanksgiving shopping started with a bang thanks to the addition of pepper spray as a competitive shopping tactic. I have to be honest..I really didn't see that one coming. Sheesh! I’ve heard of folks showing up at the crack of dawn for a sale-of-the century event but the addition of pepper spray was an unexpected twist. Who knew?? But, I can see how it might come in handy. I had an aunt who, every time upon entering my house would exclaim "No housekeeper today, huh?!?" I think a little pepper spray would have done nicely. Tempting..but, perhaps not the direction we wanna go this holiday season. Another temptation we should try hard to resist is that of the holiday "newsletter." There..I said it! As much as we love you and your family, we don't want a three page update about your year and no, no, no it isn't any better if you force it into a Night Before Christmas parody! Good Lord, pick up the phone once in a while or stop by and fill us in! If I'm left out of the loop to the degree that I'm hearing for the first time, via a holiday newsletter, that your youngest is going to medical school, your spouse was appointed Poet Laureate and you're finally settled into your new home, I'm just not relevant enough to you to be on your list of newsletter recipients! Here's a holiday word for you..Bailey's. Funny, isn't it? You know exactly where I'm headed. This syrupy Irish liqueur is the veritable poster child for re-gifting. Every, year we pull out the ole standby, tie a red ribbon around it or re-fluff the one left on it from last year and take it as a gift to one of the holiday parties. Sweet Mary, has this not gone on long enough!?!? I think a bottle from 1974 still circulates my neighborhood to this very day. Between you and me...if you can ignore the varnish-like coating it leaves on your teeth, a little nip before bed on a cold night isn't half bad. So, if it comes your way this year..and it will..just open it, drink it, pour it over ice cream, add it to your oatmeal..whatever it takes to put an end to this staid but relentless ritual. I should probably clarify that drinking the whole thing by yourself and especially at a party and more specifically an office party certainly wouldn't be prudent. Nope..that promotion you got does not mean you can handle any more alcohol than you could last year and photos of you in a drunken stupor, fondling someone else's spouse will most assuredly be captured on everyone's iPhone. I'd be remiss if I didn't offer this last cautionary tidbit...The fact that you can drive home after eight glasses of wine doesn't make any of us feel better about sharing the road with you. Your public service announcement that you're an excellent driver even while under the influence does not mean that you actually are an excellent driver. It means that you're drunk and belligerent and someone should take your keys. Other than that, I think we're all set for another special holiday season in Piedmont. I'd like to point out that there's no better season for our beloved tartan plaid..a fashion favorite for the christmas tree lighting. Ya' know, they serve hot cider at the christmas tree lighting. It's good with a little Bailey's in it..
