Unsettling, isn’t it? That a perfect stranger can come into your house without your permission. They can take your things, terrorized you or your family and make you understand in a moment how very little control you have over the “out of left field” occurrences. Fear can take us down a notch. All of my fantasies of squaring-off with an intruder in my doorway in my Annie Oakley outfit and toting a 12 gauge are really just that..fantasy. It sounds so easy in my imaginary version, strutting around town claiming that “If the devil walks down my street, I’ll meet him half way!” daring anyone to make the mistake of rifling through my car or barging into my home. My imaginary version has me sauntering around my lawn John Wayne style, in chaps and ready with a pistol in each hand. Or Clint Eastwood style, taunting all the pimply-faced hoodlums…”Go ahead you little bastard..make my day!” Aaahhh, fantasy. The place where we can be our perfect selves and then…screeeeeeach! Back to reality. That’s the place where I’m more like Mrs. Kravitz than Annie Oakley and more like Dagwood Bumstead than John Wayne. Yep..confronted with an intruder I’d most likely help them pack-up all of my valuables, make them a cheese sandwich and offer them a ride to BART. So, I’ve decided that my goal is to avoid an intrusion rather than endure one. Judging by the alarm and locksmith company trucks that have lined the streets of Piedmont in the last few weeks, there are others in town with similar goals. And, why not? If a six-inch deadbolt and an alligator-filled moat are the only things standing between me and a peaceful night’s sleep, count me in!
I’ve seen another sign-of-the-times popping up here and there. Window bars. Oh sure, they’re the fancy, decorative variety, but window bars, none the less. They aren’t everywhere, but I’ve spotted a few basement and first story windows in town that are newly fortified. Whatever it takes to prevent an intrusion. It got me thinking, though as I passed one such house…what makes Piedmont different from any other crime-rattled city? After all, once the bars go up on the windows, doesn’t that say something about the neighborhood? Many, many years ago I knew a real estate agent, Golda Solowitz, who told me “Oy gevalt, Daahlink, if there are bars on the windows God forbid you should live in such a neighborhood!” I can’t help thinking of Golda these last few months with all the new security upgrades and wondering how Piedmont will justify it’s lofty home prices if the Golda Solowitzs of the world see it as just another town with bars on it’s windows. It used to be that we could tout the fact our police department and emergency services had a very quick response time, but lately that seems to be a topic of debate. Our police department has the good fortune of protecting a town that knows very little of home invasions and such. Thank goodness. But, as a result some are questioning the department’s readiness for such crimes. How prepared could they be when they have so little exposure to this sort of thing in Piedmont? It isn’t a criticism necessarily, but rather an observation. Wearing a uniform doesn’t guarantee a skill set. After all, you can dance around the house in your underwear, but that doesn’t make you Madonna!
I did notice that the Police Department has snazzy new patrol cars. It seems the conservative Crown Victorias have been replaced with Dodge Chargers. Yowza! Well, it worked for the Dukes of Hazard so I suppose it could work for Piedmont. Still, I wonder if it might have been more prudent to consider forfeiting the new round of muscle cars and instead invest the money in investigative skills training for our officers. Or some other kind of training that might be relevant given our current state of lock-down. I know there’s probably an earmark sort of thing for new cars every few years, but drastic times call for drastic measures. Why not take one for the team and re-purpose the funds to better use? I also read in last week’s Post that the City is now considering a million dollar investment in license plate readers at all entry points to the Piedmont. That’s a lot of money for a project that seems a little willy-nilly-let’s-do-something-fast. I was reminded of the haste with which those portable classrooms sprang up on the Havens playground and I suddenly felt a little queasy. Heck, a million dollars combined with the funds from the Dukes of Hazard cars and our police department could get training that would genuinely make a difference. I don’t know about you, but I'd sleep a lot better at night knowing that my police department was at Perry Mason/Columbo/Krav Maga status. It’s too bad because the alligators really aren’t very practical, it takes me 10 minutes to secure all the new locks on my front door and Golda Solowitz would absolutely hate the metal bars. "Oy gevalt, Daahlink...honestly!"
