E. Boyer
Classic displays of Piedmont Pollyanna’ism are ever present. At times I rather like it...complete denial no matter what. I do it with what I refer to as “vacation food.” The things I eat while on vacation don’t really count. It’s as though I never ate them. Eight hundred calorie cupcakes at 11:00 p.m. are of absolutely no consequence. A “sharing size” bag of peanut M&M’s which I chose not to share and instead enjoyed alone at midnight while in bed reading the Times, is wiped clean from the food diary once the vacation is over. So, indeed I understand the inner-machinations of denial. And just like eating nine million calories before bed can result in a ghastly outcome, so too can denial about other things.
Baloney, is how, I believe, one contributor described it when referring to reports of troubling times for Piedmont high-schoolers. I assume this was the "nonsense" variety as opposed to Oscar-Mayer's version. A long time ago and early on in my children’s high school careers I learned that any success they might have or Pleasantville’ish euphoria they might experience could be lost in a moment. I never took any of it for granted and never assumed it was a guarantee. I enjoyed it with them while it was there, but knew that my children were just as susceptible to failure, pain, embarrassment and tragedy as any other child. I breathe a heavy sigh of relief when I see my children today as lovely, healthy and productive adults. I know that it could easily have gone the other way and I’m genuinely grateful that they grew into their current, full-grown versions. Believe me, it was nip and tuck for a couple of them! Although I’m a devoted fan of nonsense, I do wonder about the sagacity of wrapping such broad topics as “the high school experience” in a blanket of it. One person’s nonsense is another person’s genuinely troubling time. While it’s true that some students sail through high school with nary a bump in the road and un-touched by unpleasantries, many children struggle and have a very difficult and often terrible time. I believe we should applaud the children and parents who get through the high school years unscathed. It’s good and challenging work. But, I also believe that we should respect that others may not be so lucky. Saying over and over again that something is a certain way does not magically make it true across the board.
According to...well...just about about every news station and publication from here to Timbuktu, Piedmont high school does have a few troubling spots. While it may be true that this latest development is an old occurrence cloaked in a new name, it’s still grossly indecorous and I venture to say that a good many young women, having been victimized, publicized and then cast aside like an old garment, are embarrassed, hurt...or worse. I also feel badly for the ill-mannered and ill-advised male students who participated. Imagine beginning your young adulthood believing that this was the right course for becoming the man you one day hope to be. A very low place from which to begin.
I suspect this latest episode will be met with much of the the typical Piedmont wagon-circling...”Oh, that’s ridiculous.” “You can’t punish them..it’s their Senior year!” “Making an issue of this will affect their college applications!” And, of course, we’ll hear from more than one of the wink-n-nod crowd that “Boys will be boys!” Well, sometimes, as it turns out, it’s more like “boys will be jack-asses” and if the grown-ups in their lives don’t soon explain right from wrong and demand better in this regard, those boys may result in very unappealing versions of men. Broken-down ex-athletes, with boring stories of their high school glory days, alone and balding, on the couch with a 12 pack of Schlitz, watching t.v., rubbing their big fat bellies and wondering what it would be like to have a meaningful relationship with a woman. Not pretty.
Reel ‘em in, folks. Have a chat with your boys. And your girls. All kids are good and worthwhile, but could often use tutoring in things other than academics. Circling the wagon may have been a good defense tactic for the pioneers, but not very effective with badly behaved teenagers. Just wondering...has anyone considered actual consequences? Just a thought.
Maya Angelou wrote that “..all god’s children need traveling shoes.” I couldn't agree more. Time to lace ‘em up... tight!
