Do
we need a new theater? Yes. Is it because someone fell off the stage
or tripped down the steps? No. I understand that most students who
participated in theater during their high school years hold dear
memories of camaraderie beneath the dusty, backstage rafters and moments
of center-stage glory. It makes sense that they would fiercely defend
their theater's right to enhancements and that they would carry the
torch of thespian pride. But, to cite falling off the stage, tripping
down the steps or simply having fond memories as justification for the
theater's renovation isn't exactly compelling. Understandable from
nostalgic, young college students, but not compelling. Still, I think
even among the most devoted of PHS theater alumni we'd be hard pressed
to find any who would agree with the notion that decreasing the number
of seats in such an elaborate remodel is a good idea. Their letters to
the editor may be sophomoric, but the students aren't unintelligent.
Students
in support of their old theater is admirable. Charming, in fact.
What's abhorrent is the exploitation of one community member's
disability as a pitch for the project. I honestly feel like crying
every time I see the marketing pieces and lawn signs for Measure H...a
thoughtless design as if someone used the first wheelchair image they
found on a Google search and rushed to print so they could sound the
accessibility alarm as quickly as possible. I'm embarrassed and ashamed
that our town is using one young man in particular and disabled people
in general in this terrible way. It seems our audacity knows no bounds
when it comes to getting what we want. If addressing the needs of
disabled community members is the reason for the new theater, why wasn't
the theater made more accessible long ago with ramps, appropriate
seating areas and larger bathrooms? Now, when we want funds for a new
theater we're suddenly passionate about the need for improved
accessibility? Folks, why do we do this? Every time we want something
we cry "safety" and now, for this particular project, we're adding
"accessibility." With Havens, an epic collapse was surely just ahead if
we didn't rush to replace it, crushing all of the children inside.
Now, with the theater it's suddenly about the urgent need for
trip-proof stairs and improved accessibility. Why can't we just say
that we want a shiny new theater instead of using someone's disability
to garner support? Don't we assume that
any school renovation project will include upgrades for safety and
accessibility..isn't it a requirement? Why are we waving it around as
though it's our thoughtful gift to the disabled community? I'm disgusted and it might surprise you to know that I'm in favor of a new theater even at the ridiculous cost because I understand that this is how things work in Piedmont. But,
these latest shenanigans by whomever is steering this behemoth is so
infuriating to me that it's given me pause to reconsider. It would be
nice if occasionally we could refrain from turning into jackasses every
time a project is in the pipeline and using someone's disability as a marketing tactic absolutely
falls into the jackass category. Are they corrupt? Lazy? Indifferent?
Certainly not. I think people who get involved with such an undertaking
have only good intentions, but somewhere in the process they often lose
their minds and the whole things starts to resemble a carnival
side-show! What should be a community effort to determine what
upgrades are needed, what all the additional fun stuff will cost and how
much the community is willing to pay for turns into a colossal mess.
There
is no shame in saying we want a nice theater. Piedmont is a community
with million dollar homes on every street, our teenage children drive
luxury vehicles, we have second homes, belong to exclusive country
clubs, our kindergarteners have iPhones and suddenly we're overcome with
such gentility and decorum that we can't admit that we want a swanky
new theater?!? For the record, I want
a swanky new theater, but I'm not about to grab disabled people off the
street to do my bidding for me! Raise my taxes, ask me for a donation
and put the damn thing out for a vote! They got away with the fear
mongering in the Havens boondoggle, but we're weary this time around.
Why not try a little honesty in your pitch? Something like: "Let's
build a beautiful, new theater. Our performing arts programs deserve
it and so do we, for that matter. My clothes feel sticky when I leave
the Alan Harvey Theatre. A tetanus shot comes to mind every time I get
jabbed from the springs in the worn-out seats and the carpet smells like
urine and old play dough. The stage is ugly, the sound system is
pointless and the drapes look like something from a Bela Lugosi movie.
The whole thing is depressing. Let's build a new theatre. It'll be
expensive, but it'll be great and of course we'll make it safe and
A.D.A. complaint." Put that on the lawn signs and you've got my vote!
